Learning Khmer from scratch

Before I moved to Cambodia in February 2020, I couldn’t speak a word of Khmer. When I arrived, I decided to learn Khmer. As an adult. From scratch. I was a “heritage speaker”. But apart from common foods (“nom guchai” (fried chive cakes) and “samlor machew” (sweet and sour soup) anyone?) and “chum reap sour!” (formal greeting) to the “Yey” (grandma) with the red mouth from chewing all those betel leaves with red paste (Cambodians know what I’m talking about), I didn’t know how to say anything else.

Maybe you can relate. Do you come from an ethnic background and yet can’t speak the language (or only know basic words), let alone read or write it? And you either have no interest in learning or think it’s too late/hard so why bother?

Growing up, my mother would speak to us in Khmer but my siblings and I would reply in English. I was so mean, I used to tell her to stop speaking Khmer. We were living in Australia and the last thing we wanted to do was be different. I’m ashamed to admit that I found it annoying, embarassing and a waste of time.

The Khmer alphabet is the longest in the world at 74 letters! The script comprises 44 consonants, 23 vowels, 14 independent vowels. Consonants run in 2 series. There are subscripts and superscripts. It’s crazy! It looks similar to Thai and Lao as all 3 languages have Pali and Sanskrit roots. Khmer is not a tonal language, thank goodness. Imagine how many more blank looks I’d get trying to speak it if it was.

I went hardcore at the start. I joined a local Khmer school with an excellent curriculum including dipthongs! (before this I thought these were something sexy you wear to the beach). I learnt Khmer part time - 6 hours a week! 3 hours x 2 days. Plus homework!

After 3 hours, chu k’bal nas! (massive headache!) and I’d have to lie down on the floor. It was too intense. My mouth just couldn’t pronounce the sounds. I was lucky because I had a classmate (who became my amazing friend) who is a speech pathologist. She gave me pronunciation tips, like the kind you give to kids (“it’s like when you hurt yourself and say owie” - best tip ever!). Even though I was Khmer, I was the worst student in the class. It was demoralising.

Fast forward to my 1 year milestone. Part of why I came full circle is because I wanted to speak to my Ming (Auntie) and she doesn’t speak English. Isn’t it awkward when you meet relatives and you can’t converse? Food is the universal language but it only goes so far. I didn’t even know what she liked. What was her Cambodian name? I wanted to ask her things but couldn’t. When I’d meet my extended family, I felt like an outsider and then I’d want to leave ASAP or ask my mother or some random cousin I’d never met to translate.

Anyway, it took me a year to finally speak to Ming because I was nervous I didn’t know enough Khmer. But then, it happened. For 20 minutes. I stumbled but who cares, I’ll take that win. I asked her simple questions like “Roal thnaj Ming twer avey klah?” (What do you do everyday Auntie?) and “Ming coulchet rueh nei Australie te?” (Auntie do you like living in Australia?). I felt happy, like all the chu k’bals (headaches) were worth it.

1 year and 8 months on, I’m still learning Khmer, but with a personal tutor. I can write my name and simple sentences. And read signs. With numbers on them! But the best and most important bit - my mother and I have full conversations in Khmer. I never realised how much was lost in translation when she was forced to speak English or when she spoke Khmer but I never understood every single word. Now I feel more connected to her, and it’s a way for her to keep connected to her mother tongue too. The flip side is I have so much respect for my mother for learning English - because she had no other choice. There’s so much beauty, randomness and nuance in the Khmer language. I never understood this until I learnt the words, context and meaning.

As I write this, I am scared. I am scared that we will lose Khmer. That as the generations go on and learning Mandarin or English becomes more “important”, we will lose this part of our heritage and ancestry. Our grandchildren and great grandchildren will have Cambodian roots, but have no idea what Khmer sounds like or how to speak it. Already, so many Cambodians can’t even read or write Khmer script. Part of this is the effect of the Khmer Rouge regime, but also low education rates, Khmer being so hard and well, other languages being more “relevant”. A recent article showed that more than half the world’s FB messages are voice notes from Cambodia. I understand why this is the case, but I’m talking about preservation and heritage, and staying connected to your family, to your elders, to community, and to culture.

Cambodia’s population alone is 16.7 million. But it’s also spoken in parts of Vietnam and Thailand. And, there’s the diaspora communities of Cambodians living in the US, Australia, France, Canada, China and Hong Kong, among others. That’s already over 16 million reasons to keep the language alive.

So, if you are Cambodian by background (or any other race or ethnicity for that matter and want to learn your language or get your children to learn), peel na neak chappadaum rien phiesa Khmer? (when will you start to learn Khmer?)

Orkun Chraoen (thank you very much)