Suffering from a mid life crisis in your 30s?
You are not crazy. And you are not alone.
“Mid-life crisis” often makes us think of a stereotypical male in his early 50s who left his wife and kids for a younger woman and bought a shiny new sports car.
But it’s true. You can experience a mid life crisis in your 30s. I have. And I’ve seen it happen to my friends, ex-colleagues and clients.
It makes sense. In your 30s, this creeping feeling starts to set in. It could be emptiness, feeling alone (but not lonely), searching for meaning or happiness, wanting to make big changes in your life or to make impulsive purchases.
By calculation, a mid life crisis in your 30s is normal. Most of us want to retire in our 60s or 70s. So this is the halfway point. Where we pause and ask ourselves the deeper questions about the rest of our working lives. That’s the trigger.
I noticed this in myself and in my friends. In our 30s, we started to go inwards. More contemplation, more reflection. Then we suppressed those thoughts because they were “too hard”. Or we were “too busy” and “of course I’m happy” to think about what we really wanted.
Up until then, you might have just been on the hamster wheel. You went to university, because that was “right”, and from a degree or major you weren’t 100% sold on but it seemed stable. Or your parents told you to do it. Then you found a graduate job, got more experience, got that pay rise, got promoted. You moved on to another (i.e. same) job at another company, got a higher salary or bonus and another promotion. Bought a few nice things along the way. Lived for your annual leave and public holidays. And then you repeated this cycle.
No wonder you never thought too much about the future. Or if you were truly happy inside. Then as you got older, you thought, hang on. Do I really want to do this for the rest of my life? Why aren’t I fulfilled? I thought I would be more successful by now. Some of us finally realised we were on the hamster wheel. Others wanted to get off. Others wanted to get off but would never admit it to themselves.
Eventually, I was forced off the hamster wheel. I was laid off in December 2019. It was such a gift. I decided that I needed a break, and I’d finally stop. And consider those deeper questions.
I’m not saying that everyone has to quit their job, move countries and do what I did. Maybe you just need a break. Or someone to listen to you. And tell you you’re not crazy. Maybe you really want to get off that hamster wheel and you need help because you’re unsure (i.e. scared) of what life would be without a hamster wheel.
If any of this resonates with you (especially if it makes you more uncomfortable than you care to admit), get in contact with me. I’d love to hear from you. And tell you that you’re not alone.
